Sisters For Sunshine

Receive God's Warm Love Through Reflection

Communicating improvements

on January 31, 2013

Culture today puts pressure to be an extrovert, to talk openly and be at ease in our interactions with each other. But often people are anxious when it comes to open and honest conversations. Here are some tips to improve your communications in your relationships, especially in tense confrontations.

  1. Stay Focused: Try not to bring up past hurts or other topics. Stay focused on the present, your feelings, understanding one another and finding a solution.
  2. Listen Carefully: People often think they’re listening, but are really thinking about what they’re going to say next when the other person stops talking…Don’t interrupt. Don’t get defensive. Just hear them and reflect back what they’re saying so they know you’ve heard. Then you’ll understand them better and they’ll be more willing to listen to you.
  3. Try To See Their Point of View: … Try to really see the other side, and then you can better explain yours..Others will more likely be willing to listen if they feel heard.
  4. Respond to Criticism with Empathy: …While criticism is hard to hear, and often exaggerated or colored by the other person’s emotions, it’s important to listen for the other person’s pain and respond with empathy for their feelings. Also, look for what’s true in what they’re saying; that can be valuable information for you.
  5. Own What’s Yours: …Effective communication involves admitting when you’re wrong. If you both share some responsibility in a conflict (which is usually the case), look for and admit to what’s yours…It also often inspires the other person to respond in kind, leading you both closer to mutual understanding and a solution.
  6. Use “I” Messages: Rather than saying things like, “You really messed up here,” begin statements with “I”, and make them about yourself and your feelings, like, “I feel frustrated when this happens.” It’s less accusatory, sparks less defensiveness, and helps the other person understand your point of view rather than feeling attacked.
  7. Look for Compromise Instead of trying to ‘win’ the argument, look for solutions that meet everybody’s needs.
  8. Take a Time-Out: Sometimes tempers get heated and it’s just too difficult to continue a discussion without it becoming an argument or a fight…Sometimes good communication means knowing when to take a break.
  9. Don’t Give Up: While taking a break from the discussion is sometimes a good idea, always come back to it. If you both approach the situation with a constructive attitude, mutual respect, and a willingness to see the other’s point of view or at least find a solution, you can make progress toward the goal of a resolution to the conflict.
  10. Ask For Help If You Need It

There are more ways to communicate that may be more effective for some to get their thoughts across. I find that writing is cathartic and easier to explain myself. Find a way that you feel comfortable with and then keep working on talking out your feelings. Try to plan out the words in your head and speak lovingly to whoever you’re speaking with. Truly listen and be sympathetic, and people will more likely enjoy your presence and appreciate your listening skills.

Remember if you don’t say the right words or don’t know what to say, be open and honest about it. Forgive, laugh at yourself, and keep reaching out to improve your social skills. God loves you as you. Life is all about working on ourselves and touching peoples lives. Make a new friend and don’t be afraid to reach out and talk.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: